The Auerbach REFS Model for Coaching Change with Emotional Intelligence
Part 1: Reality Testing
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"The only constant is change." The Greek philosopher Heraclitus's shared this ancient wisdom approximately 3,000 years ago and it still resonates profoundly in our world today.
From technological advancements to economic shifts and, most recently, significant governmental restructuring and downsizing, the ability to navigate change effectively has become a critical competency for leaders and their teams. As executive coaches, we are on the front lines, helping leaders and employees through these turbulent times. This article, the first in a four-part series, delves into the Auerbach REFS Model for Coaching Change, focusing on the first crucial emotional intelligence element: Reality Testing.
The REFS model, which comprises Reality Testing, Empathy, Flexibility, and Stress Tolerance, is grounded in the principles of emotional intelligence (EI) and provides a framework for understanding and coaching individuals managing change. These four elements, particularly as measured by the EQ-i 2.0, offer a roadmap for leaders to cope amidst turbulence.
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The Primacy of Reality Testing
Reality Testing, as defined by the EQ-i 2.0, is the ability to objectively appraise a situation by distinguishing between what is happening and one's own perceptions or biases. It's about seeing the forest for the trees, especially when the winds of change are blowing. In times of stability, reality testing may seem less critical, but during periods of rapid change, it becomes paramount.
Consider the ongoing downsizing within the US government. For federal employees, this naturally can trigger a cascade of emotions: fear of job loss, uncertainty about the future, and anxiety about organizational restructuring. Leaders who possess strong reality-testing skills are crucial in these moments. They can accurately assess the scope of the downsizing, understand the rationale behind it, and communicate transparently with their teams.
Without effective reality testing, leaders might overestimate the negative impact, leading to panic and poor decision-making, or they might underestimate the severity of the situation, fostering a false sense of security. Both extremes can be detrimental to an organization's ability to adapt.
Why Reality Testing Matters During Change
Here are several reasons why reality testing is especially important during times of rapid change:
Reduces Uncertainty
Change breeds uncertainty, which can be a significant source of stress for
Fosters Trust
When leaders demonstrate that they are assessing the situation objectively and communicating honestly, they build trust with their teams. This trust is essential for maintaining morale and productivity during challenging times.
Enables Decision-Making
Reality testing provides the foundation for sound decision-making. By separating facts from assumptions, leaders can make choices that are in the best interest of the organization and its employees.
Prevents Misinformation
In times of change, rumors and misinformation can spread rapidly. Leaders who prioritize reality testing can help to dispel these rumors and ensure that everyone is working with the same accurate information.
Supports Resilience
When individuals can accurately assess a situation, they are better equipped to cope with the challenges it presents. Reality testing fosters a sense of agency and empowers individuals to take constructive action.
Coaching Questions and Homework Assignments
As executive coaches, we can help our clients develop their reality-testing skills through targeted questions and assignments. Here are five examples:
Coaching Question
"When faced with a challenging situation, what are the facts, and what are your interpretations or assumptions?"
Coaching Question
"What are the potential sources of bias that might be influencing your perception of this situation?"
Coaching Assignment
"Keep a journal for one week, noting instances where your initial reaction to a situation differed from the actual outcome. Reflect on what you learned about your own reality-testing tendencies."
Coaching Question
"Who are the key stakeholders involved in this change, and what are their perspectives? How can you gather information to understand their viewpoints objectively?"
Coaching Assignment
"Before making a significant decision related to the change, identify two to three different sources of information to validate your understanding of the situation. These sources could include data, expert opinions, or feedback from trusted colleagues."
Case Example
Reorganization Reality Check
Laurie was leading a department through a significant reorganization. Laurie initially viewed the reorganization as a personal attack, fearing it would diminish her authority and influence. Her anxiety was palpable, and it began to affect her interactions with her team and her manager.
During coaching, Laurie began to systematically examine the facts of the situation. She spoke with HR, had a conversation with her manager, reviewed the organizational restructuring plan, and sought feedback from her peers. She realized that the reorganization was driven by a broader strategic objective to improve efficiency, and her role was not being targeted.
By grounding herself in the reality of the situation, Laurie was able to shift her perspective. She began to communicate more effectively with her team, focusing on the opportunities presented by the reorganization rather than dwelling on her initial fears. Her ability to accurately assess the situation not only reduced her own stress but also helped her team navigate the change more effectively.
Conclusion
The ability to accurately assess reality is not just a valuable skill; it's a necessity for peak performance. Reality Testing, a core component of emotional intelligence and the first pillar of the REFS model, provides a critical foundation for navigating change, particularly during challenging times like organizational restructuring or governmental downsizing. By understanding the importance of separating facts from perceptions, leaders can foster trust, make sound decisions, and guide their teams through transitions with greater resilience.
In the subsequent articles in this series, we will delve into the other essential components of the REFS model: Empathy, Flexibility, and Stress Tolerance. Each of these elements builds upon the foundation of Reality Testing, further equipping leaders to not only manage change but to harness its potential for growth and effectiveness.
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References
- Auerbach, J. (2001) Personal and Executive Coaching: The Complete Guide for Mental Health Professionals. College of Executive Coaching
- Bar-On, R. (2000). Emotional and social intelligence: An insight into the theory and practice. In R. Bar-On & J.D.A. Parker (Eds.), The handbook of emotional intelligence: Theory, development, assessment, and application at home, school, and in the workplace (pp. 363-388). Jossey-Bass.
- Stein, S., & Book, H. E. (2006). The EQ Edge: Emotional intelligence and your success (2nd ed.). Jossey-Bass.
