Coaching Article

Cultivating Uniquely Human Value: How Executive Coaching Clients Develop Emotional Intelligence to Thrive in the Age of AI

June 30, 2025
By Jeffrey E. Auerbach, Ph.D., MCC, NBC-HWC

The Irreplaceable Edge: Why AI Cannot Master True Emotional Intelligence

AI can recognize and respond to human emotions through affective computing, analyzing expressions, tone, and text. However, AI operates on patterns and data, lacking genuine understanding or subjective emotional experience.

AI simulates interactions but cannot replicate nuanced human feelings, motivations, or authentic relationships. AI struggles with contextual understanding, subtle social cues, and judgments based on incomplete information, skills that humans can process naturally.

An AI coaching chatbot can suggest conflict resolution strategies, but it will lack the ability to perceive power dynamics, unspoken tensions, or past interpersonal history. For example, two team members might frequently disagree in meetings. An AI assistant might suggest offering conflict resolution training to both. However, a human leader with well-developed emotional intelligence might sense that one team member feels the team routinely dismisses their contributions due to cultural differences or unconscious bias. Through joint coaching conversations and sensitive listening, the leader can address a deeper cause, thereby restoring civility and psychological safety, which AI alone cannot achieve.

At work and at home, people frequently navigate "gray zones" that require emotional sensitivity, intuition, and values-based reasoning. According to a Deloitte 2024 report, 71% of executives say "empathy and human judgment" are essential in leadership decisions that AI tools are ill-equipped to manage responsibly (Deloitte Human Capital Trends, 2024).

Human connection, creativity, and ethical decision-making are irreplaceably valuable in leadership and team building. Leadership roles require vision, strategic foresight, and the ability to inspire teams, especially during times of change, which demands an understanding of human psychology. Ethical decision-making and moral judgment are crucial for humanity and are a capability we want to reserve for humans to have the ultimate say.

The future of work involves "human-AI synergy," also known as "augmented intelligence," where AI and humans work together. AI enhances human capabilities by handling data processing and pattern recognition, enabling humans to focus on creativity, leverage emotional intelligence, and make informed ethical judgments. Leaders will use AI for analytics, while they will also need to foster empathy and trust through their EI for team success. This integrated approach will lead to smoother conflict resolution, enhanced organizational effectiveness, and a more positive organizational culture.

Future competitive advantage comes from mastering human-AI collaboration, requiring executive coaching clients to develop EI and the ability to integrate AI outputs within human-centered contexts.

EQ-I 2.0 Certification Leads to Effective Executive Coaching and Executive Longevity

My simple definition of emotional intelligence is that EI is knowing yourself and managing yourself, as well as understanding others and managing your relationships with others. A high emotional quotient ("EQ" is the numerical representation of the score on an emotional intelligence assessment) correlates with better communication, mental well-being, team collaboration and many other social and even physical health benefits. Yet most individuals are unaware of their true EQ levels.

The Emotional Quotient Inventory 2.0 (EQ-i 2.0) is the most effective tool to assess emotional intelligence for executive coaching. The Israeli psychologist, Reuven Bar-On, developed the original EQ-i assessment, and it was revised by the assessment publisher, MHS, to the EQ-i 2.0 in 2011. The EQ-i 2.0 provides fifteen subscale scores for a comprehensive EI assessment. My senior-level executive coach colleagues and I use it with almost all of our clients.

The EQ-i 2.0 is the best normed, most valid, and most culturally fair of the EI assessments. Its individual EI scales enhance executive coaching by providing metrics and insights for clients' personalized development plans. For example, a low Impulse Control score could lead a client to select it as a goal for improvement, resulting in the co-creation of targeted approaches for EI refinement. This approach moves beyond general advice to specific, evidence-informed exercises and homework designed to improve emotional intelligence competencies.

What Leadership Competencies are Needed in the Age of AI?

Although many EI competencies make up a holistic view of EI, first I want to focus on mastering interpersonal relationships to provide unique human value. High emotional intelligence fosters strong interpersonal relationships, building trust, engagement, and problem-solving within relationships and teams. Understanding ourselves and our colleagues enables positive relationships, open communication, and collaboration.

Empathetic leadership drives positive organizational change, mutual respect, productivity, and reduced employee turnover. In the AI era, quality human interactions will be a key differentiator for peak performance in many positions. The ability to nurture connections, build relationships, and make nuanced decisions balancing data with human factors will be increasingly important for executive success.

Executive Coach Training

In executive coach training, coaches learn how coaching is frequently utilized to enhance clients' interpersonal relationship skills. Depending on the client's goals, coaches may help leaders understand their communication style and their impact on others, fostering self-awareness. Self-awareness then increases the likelihood that an individual can reliably demonstrate social awareness which leads to the ability to tailor messages for diverse audiences, leveraging the empathy facet of EI. Strategies include helping clients increase their active listening, asking follow-up questions, considering different viewpoints, and connecting personally with employees through a combination of EI skills such as empathy, emotional self-awareness, social awareness, and flexibility.

In an AI-reshaped environment, a human leader's ability to forge trusting connections will become the foundation for creative innovation, healthy organizational climate, engagement, constructive change management, and long-term career survival, creating a "human firewall" against AI taking over one's professional role.

The Benefits of Strong Interpersonal Relationship Skills for Leaders Adapting to Hybrid Human-AI Workforces

Benefit Area	Description	Impact in AI Era
Trust & Psychological Safety	Fosters an environment where team members feel safe to express ideas, admit mistakes, and take risks.	For innovation and adaptability in changing, AI-augmented environments.
Enhanced Collaboration & Communication	Improves team cohesion, open dialogue, and the ability to work effectively across diverse groups.	For human-AI collaboration and translating AI results into useful and appropriate human strategies.
Increased Employee Engagement & Retention	Leaders who understand and validate team members' feelings inspire loyalty and motivation, reducing turnover.	Retaining top human talent knowledgeable in AI as a competitive advantage.
Nuanced Decision-Making	Balances analytical insights from AI with human experience and ethical considerations.	Prevents purely data-driven, potentially unethical, or culturally insensitive, decisions.
Effective Conflict Resolution	Addresses potential conflicts before they escalate, maintaining team harmony and productivity.	For navigating complexities of AI agent plus human hybrid workplaces and diverse teams.

Executive Coaching, EQ-i Certification and EI Development: Strategies

Most senior level coaches I work with are EQ-i 2.0 certified. The EQ-i 2.0 assessment provides the data coaches and clients need to make EI development plans. This section delves into six specific EQ-i 2.0 subscales, providing their definitions, their role in the AI era, and coaching strategies.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize our emotions and thoughts, and what is triggers them. A highly self-aware person is aware of their strengths, weaknesses, and personality characteristics, understanding how their emotions, values, and experiences shape their mindset and behavior. Adequate self-awareness is the foundation to develop higher emotional intelligence.

Without self-awareness, individuals may not recognize a need for EI development. AI will increasingly transform job roles, creating potential insecurity about one's career and professional identity. Adequate self-awareness provides a building block of an "inner compass" needed to adapt to new roles, identify transferable skills, and redefine professional purpose in an AI-augmented world. Without self-awareness, and acceptance that whether we like it or not, AI will become more present in our lives, there will be greater resistance to constructive adaptation.

Coaches often use these strategies for self-reflection to build self-awareness:

• Understanding Strengths and Weaknesses: Gaining insight into our strengths and areas for improvement
• Accepting and Valuing Feedback: Accepting constructive feedback to learn from missteps and become aware of the impact of our behavior on others
• Journaling and Reflection: Journaling and mindful reflection to process emotions, reflect on our values, and gain insight into triggers
• Examining Past Decisions: Reflecting on past decisions to reveal underlying thought processes, biases, and emotional influences
• Connecting with Employees: Building working relationships and listening to employees for insights into the impact of our behavior and our leadership style

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand others' feelings, connect with their emotions and comprehend their needs and thoughts. It involves understanding perspectives without necessarily agreeing with them.

Empathy is one of the most important elements of emotional intelligence and leadership, helping a leader build connection, trust, and a psychologically safe environment. Empathy will humanize interactions in human - AI hybrid workplaces. Research links workplace empathy to improved employee outcomes like innovation, engagement, and inclusion. AI cannot understand another person's feelings the way a human can, so AI cannot replace true empathy. Hence, empathetic leaders will continue to have unique value (Catalyst, 2021).

Coaching strategies for empathy include:

• Active Listening: Assist clients to ask open-ended questions and notice non-verbal cues
• Perspective-Taking: Help clients to view situations from the other person's perspective, considering their pressures and interpretations
• Validating Feelings: Show clients how to validate others' concerns and experiences, building trust
• Seeking Diverse Perspectives: Clients can engage with individuals from varied backgrounds to question assumptions and foster broader perspective taking

Flexibility

Flexibility is the ability to adjust thoughts and behavior to changing situations. It means being adaptable and willing to change one's mind with new evidence, which can also change one's perceptions, conclusions, and emotions.

Flexibility allows adaptation to unforeseen circumstances and altering approaches when new data is revealed through self-awareness and social awareness.

Coaching interventions for flexibility include:

• Embrace a Growth Mindset: Help clients see challenges as learning opportunities and encourage experimenting with new ideas
• "What If" Scenarios: Guide clients in scenario planning to consider challenges and brainstorm solutions which builds preparedness and adaptability, as well as quells anxiety
• Practice Relaxation Techniques: Help clients manage stress in ambiguous or challenging situations, leading to more flexible responses. This can be as simple as taking three slow breaths in and out, before responding

Impulse Control

Impulse control is the ability to resist immediate urges and strong emotions, acting with forethought rather than impulsively — managing impulses constructively.

Adequate impulse control leads to pausing before acting, controlling aggression, and excelling in negotiation and problem-solving. Low impulse control can result in over-reactions, unpredictable behavior, and costly mistakes, while appropriate levels of impulse control support effective decision-making. AI provides rapid data, accelerating decision-making. However, stressed leaders with low impulse control are prone to an "amygdala hijack," (Coined by Daniel Goleman, an amygdala hijack is a sudden emotional response that is disproportionate to the situation, usually involving anger or fear) leading to irrational, fear-based decisions. High impulse control allows leaders to use the simple Auerbach mental technique of "pause, reflect, and choose" how to respond based on reality, integrating AI insights with human perspective-based judgment.

Coaching techniques for self-regulation include:

• "STOP" Technique: Teach clients to Stop, Take a breath, Observe thoughts/feelings, then Proceed with intention
• Pause, Reflect and Choose: In my executive coach training courses since 1999, I've popularized the Pause, Reflect and Choose (PRC) technique, (also described by Daniel Feldman, Ph.D. in 1999) to encourage an intentional pause before reacting, especially in meetings, email communications and conflict. I encourage clients to Pause, take a slow breath in and out, Reflect on what they are thinking and feeling, and Choose how they feel is most wise to respond. (Auerbach, 2001).
• Identify Triggers: Help clients identify situations and individuals that cause loss of control, or feel "flooded" with strong emotion, perhaps when their "buttons" get pushed
• Postpone Decisions: Consider temporarily postponing non-urgent decisions to differentiate best options from urges
• Seek Feedback: Encourage feedback to understand how actions impact others, especially when the person acted quickly

Developing impulse control ensures AI-driven information speed does not lead to rash or biased decisions — enabling leaders to use AI wisely.

Stress Tolerance

Stress tolerance is the ability to manage oneself and relationships during high stress, dealing with demanding circumstances constructively and with minimal anxiety.

Leaders with high stress tolerance avoid emotional hijacks, making objective decisions under pressure. Their composure fosters psychological safety and prevents stress transmission to the team. Stress impairs objective decision-making and increases bias so a leader's ability to remain composed under pressure is important for ethical AI implementation and governance.

Coaching strategies for stress tolerance include:

• Awareness: Help clients recognize stress onset by tuning into physical/emotional cues and understanding triggers
• Mindfulness & Reflection: Use meditation, breathing, and journaling to manage stress, promote self-awareness, and reframe stress as a motivator
• Slow, Measured Breathing: Encourage clients to try slow controlled breathing as a stress inoculation tool. Guide the client to do four breath cycles: breathing in for a count of 6, holding for a count of 4, and exhaling for a count of eight, repeating the cycle four times.
• Cognitive Reappraisal: Coach clients to reflect on their thinking and their resultant conclusions, reframing threats as challenges, engaging the prefrontal cortex to downregulate the amygdala's reactivity
• Holistic Well-being: Support clients with healthy lifestyle choices, emphasize rest, exercise, nutrition, and a strong support network for stress resilience

Developing stress tolerance allows leaders to use their prefrontal cortex for reasoned judgment, preventing emotionally driven ethical missteps with organizational, societal or morale consequences.

Emotional Expression

Emotional expression, in the EQ-i 2.0 framework, means openly communicating thoughts and feelings constructively. It involves conscious choices about expressing emotions, not suppressing them and not abusing others with a projection of misplaced emotions on others.

Leaders are often respected by their followers who show some vulnerability and model authenticity in their relationships. Effective, appropriate emotional expression builds trust, strengthens relationships, and inspires teams. AI agents' utilization can make workplaces more impersonal. Yet employees want authentic, human, empathetic and caring leaders. Leaders who express emotions constructively foster trust and psychological safety, counteracting potential dehumanization in emerging AI agent-human environments.

Coaching strategies for emotional expression include:

• Observe and Evaluate Feelings and Responses: Help clients observe their emotions and reactions to identify patterns and growth areas
• Clarify Intention: Clients may want to set daily intentions for emotional presence (e.g., "remain calm," "provide clarity")
• Create Space for Emotions: Encourage healthy vulnerability to acknowledge weaknesses and struggles within appropriate limits for the workplace, while maintaining satisfactory job performance
• Practice Pausing: Reinforce pausing before responding to manage emotions during stress and prevent regrettable comments
• Reframe EI: Help clients reframe emotional intelligence as "emotional and social effectiveness"

Key EQ-i 2.0 Subscales for the Human-AI Workplace, Their Core Definitions, and Coaching Strategies

EI Subscale	Core Definition	Key Development Strategies (for Coaches to Implement)
Self-Awareness	Recognizing one's own emotions, strengths, and weaknesses.	Journaling & Reflection; Seeking & Valuing Feedback; Analyzing Past Decisions
Empathy	Recognizing, understanding, and appreciating how other people feel without necessarily agreeing with their perspective.	Active Listening and Reading Non-Verbal Cues; Perspective-Taking; Validating Others' Experiences
Flexibility	Adjusting emotions, thoughts, and behavior to changing situations.	Embracing a Growth Mindset; "What If" Scenario Planning
Impulse Control	Resisting or delaying urges; acting with forethought.	"PRC" and "STOP" Techniques; Identifying Triggers & Patterns ; Postponing Non-Urgent Decisions
Stress Tolerance	Managing oneself constructively during high-stress periods.	Mindfulness & Breathing; Cognitive Reappraisal; Prioritizing Self-Care
Emotional Expression	Openly and constructively communicating thoughts and feelings.	Clarifying Daily Intentions; Healthy Vulnerability & Authenticity; Practicing the "Pause"

Mentor Coaching Enhances Executive Coaching for EI Development

Mentor Coaching is a required element of International Coach Federation Accredited Training programs and often a requirement for credential renewal. At College of Executive Coaching AI is now used to compliment the masterful human mentor coach by providing metrics on the coach's skills. This is an example of how AI can make an important contribution to human mentor coaching and the coach's development, by AI providing metrics that AI excels at while allowing the human mentor coach to focus on the type of intuitive, caring and sensitive human feedback that AI can't provide. This is one of many applications that we cover in our How to Use AI in Coaching Course.

Executive coaching offers unique value in fostering sustainable emotional intelligence development. EI coaching provides a confidential, one-on-one relationship where leaders gain insights into their fifteen facets of emotional intelligence, their strengths, and areas for improvement. Coaches complement the EQ-I 2.0 assessment by skillful coaching approaches and creating a positive coaching alliance.

To get the most beneficial effect from coaching, the coach also has to continually develop their own EI as well as their coaching skills.

A well-trained and mentored coach can function as a "mirror," helping the client observe and understand their behaviors and feelings to help them develop maximum emotional intelligence. For example, coaching often helps clients understand their emotional triggers, consider their impact, and dial up their self-management and relationship management.

The coach tailors their work by partnering with the client, and the client selects their own goals and ways to move forward, in line with the organizational mission. This process enhances self-awareness, clarity on key values, goals and prompts greater depth in thinking, and best decision making. The coach may discuss with their mentor coach or coach supervisor challenging cases for extra support and guidance.

Executive coaching addresses common challenges in EI development. Coaching provides a reflective space and uses assessments to help a leader to increase their accurate self-assessment and goal prioritization. A multi-rater assessment such as the EQ360 helps them see themselves as others see them. Coaches create a safe, non-judgmental space to consider feedback from others, helping leaders refine ingrained communication habits or limiting mental models. Coaches provide continuous feedback, support, and accountability, encouraging practice until new, more constructive EI behaviors become habitual.

Executive coaching plus EI development provides an "operating system upgrade" for human leaders in the AI era. AI integrated workplaces will demand continuous adaptation, complex decision-making, and nuanced human interaction. This "EI upgrade" maintains human leadership relevance and efficacy.

Conclusion: Executive Coaching Enhances Human Leadership Value and Career Security

As AI automates tasks, human skills like emotional intelligence, including self-awareness, empathy, emotional expression, flexibility, stress tolerance and impulse control are necessary for executive longevity and leadership. These competencies enable leaders to connect, empathize, inspire, and navigate human dynamics that AI cannot reliably replicate.

The future involves AI augmenting human capabilities, not replacing them. Successful leaders will master the synergy between AI's analytical power and human emotional intelligence. Executive coaching prepares leaders with self-awareness, self-management and interpersonal skills to lead by connecting with others, ensuring human value in an AI-driven world.

Cultivating EI in executive coaching clients also supports an ethical dimension for AI leadership. AI systems lack ethical judgment and can perpetuate biases, so human leaders are responsible for AI's ethical impact. High EI helps leaders maintain objectivity, manage biases, and make principled decisions under pressure.

Emotionally intelligent leaders identify and mitigate AI's potential harm, and safeguard human values, shaping a positive future for human leadership.

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References

• Auerbach, J. (2001) Personal and Executive Coaching: The Complete Guide for Mental Health Professionals. College of Executive Coaching
• Catalyst. (2021, January 13). The power of empathy in times of crisis and beyond. https://www.catalyst.org/insights/2021/empathy-work-strategy-crisis
• Deloitte. (2024). 2024 Global Human Capital Trends: Thriving beyond boundaries: Human performance in a boundaryless world. Deloitte Insights. https://www2.deloitte.com/us/en/insights/topics/talent/human-capital-trends/2024.html